im so glad i have this blog. the other one makes me a little nervous like, i feel the future and pst brains leering over my shoulder whispering their criticisms to each other.

i don’t feel that here. anyway. life. man. shit. i imagine the life journey is this serious for us all, but rarely do we express it to each other as such. sigh. how our ego isolates us from each other. i don’t talk to others about my emotions and my struggles for fear of judgement, fear of insult, fear of expulsion from society itself! fear fear fear. what about you? what stops you from authentic expression? i imagine it is also fear.

being yourself is not easy. but it is the only thing worth being. i am infinitely beautiful and fun and strange//lovely just like you. and you and you and you and you~

sigh. its been an intense week. am i crying to you? you can cry to me in return if you like.

wow the energy in my body has felt strange. feels like liquid, it feels orange, and doing reiki makes me antsy and my skin crawls. they say thats the sensation of encountering an energy blockage. ha! i think this time the block is the ego itself:

(its like a sticky, golden orange warm juicy slimy stickling stackling all over my heart chakra, silky and sweet and sour to the senses. i pull on it and my who body tingles and i groan and laugh and must get up and pace. wild.)

I was talking to my new friend about advice i’d give my teenage self. so i said: forgive yourself, and forgive others. do what makes you happy, and don’t let anyone, anyone, tell you to do otherwise.

it is okay to be a little selfish. you will see one day, teenage brian so handsome and lost.

and sheeeeeeee said!: don’t worry too much about pain and hurt; they pass, and you will grow from them. and its okay to be you, and stand on your own feet.

great advice. great talk. ❤

picture source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/526358275173067814/